FUCK THE METS

Doggz, this is mothalickin Ryan. Making a guest post on Gavin's blog. For realz. But actually, yeah, I'm making a guest post. Deal with it.

Apparently when girls look at you and don't make the Bill Harvey face, they're actually into you. What the FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. WHY DID I NOT FIND THIS OUT FIVE YEARS AGO? I thought when girls did that they were telling you to go away. Not that they wanted to bone you. I could have hooked up with approximately twenty-seven girls in the intervening time. WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wasted almost all of college without figuring this out? Are you fucking kidding me?

This is some bullshit, in the words of the Villarans.

Also, the way I discovered this was because we were all looking at an issue of Cosmopolitan. There's no worse way to discover this. Cosmopolitan thinks that guys are oafs and buffoons who think that dudes only want sex, football, beer, and bros. I should have learned this in high school...man, I was a huge mcgudein high school.

Also, fuck the Mets. They are a joke. I can't believe that Gavin actually roots for them. But right now, the football Giants might be worse. I can't stand them either. I hate these teams more than me not knowing this (incredibly important) fact about the female sex.