Dispatches From the Front

Our heroic protagonist has surpassed his stated goal of twenty, amounting twenty-three victories in the ongoing campaign. Morale remains high, and losses have been surprisingly low, with a relatively high level of lucidity and self-awareness maintained under the circumstances. We may speculate this proficiency is due in part to the long time-frame involved, as well as the subject's elevated tolerance and rapid metabolizing of the various and sundry kettled goods, be they corn, chips, tea, or distilled spirits.
Gavin has remained the soul of generosity and kindness, even apologizing for his victories in the contests of skill into which he has entered, despite his impaired state, and has nevertheless subsequently prevailed. While the bulk of our forces have been engaged in feats of electronic athletic excellence in jam and the like, while the illustrious Mr. Pfander has been absorbed in his own private avian war on his telephone, with Aly cheering him on every step of the way. Our efforts to reunify this splinter cell with the main body of our army have been met with failure thus far, but we remain hopeful for future reunification.
Although this has been said already by our primary author, it bears repeating. Therefore in conclusion, dear reader, despite the large turnout that has joined us to support and celebrate this special occasion, one cannot help but think of those who could not be with us this day - indeed, all day, in the words of Gavin. Robert and Catie, so close yet so far, Will and Jaxi, wheresoever they are, Steve, who was here but briefly, Ryan, on his adventures in the Windy City, and all our other friends who surely would have enjoyed this time with us, we are thinking of you.

In a special nod to our correspondent in Chicago, take these words to heart during your time there:

"You wanna know how you do it? Here's how; they pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. That's the Chicago way, and that's how you get Capone! Now do you want to do that? Are you ready to do that?"
-Malone (Sean Connery) from 'The Untouchables'

Yours,
-Bombadil